The fifth episode in Series Six of Everybody loves Raymond.
Ray and Debra are in the kitchen when Frank barges in, feeling quite indignant that his wife Marie has not cooked for him in a month as she was busy in her new sculpture job while he has to prepare his own meals. He credits Debra for suggesting her to do sculpturing. Later that day, Marie enters, very energetic to show her family her latest sculpture piece that she has been working on. Robert carries the over-sized covered present in the house and places it in the living room. After she unveils her latest creation, it is perceived as large and massive, and imposing and not altogether an unpleasant piece of abstract art. Everyone was amazed and Frank was very much indulged in observing the sculpture, not knowing what it looks like, and announces that he loves it, to Marie's joy. Ray pulls Debra aside and asks her if the sculpture resembles something a bit too "lady-like" in appearance. Debra is disgusted upon seeing Robert and Frank stare at it. However, both could not find the courage and tell her the awful truth. Ray whispers something about the sculpture to Robert, as he was also wondering what it looks like. Robert is shocked and, just like his brother and sister-in-law, could not also gather the courage to tell his mother.
Marie then tells Ray and Debra that its a present from her to them and suggests it should have a place in the house, to Robert's amusement and Frank says that the sculpture is good art because "it follows when you move". Robert and Marie leave afterwards. Frank also leaves with the offer that he can look at it later. After they leave, Debra thinks that the sculpture resembles a sailboat, but Ray disapproves of her. Then, Michael comes downstairs and got a glimpse of what his grandma created as he was first introduced to it by his parents when he came looking for his crayons. He is then sent back upstairs after asking "can I color it?"
The next day, Ray and Robert were watching TV while Frank endlessly stares at his wife's creation. On Ray's insistence, Frank censors his view. Debra walks in after learning that the Parker's playdate with her kids is cancelled became their basement and their entire house was flooded. Robert manages to take Frank with him to get pizza, Ray wants to come too but is halted by Debra as she can no longer handle one more day in the house with the sculpture and with their children's questions like "WHY IS IT SO BIG?" And, even worse, she sees it in her sleep. Then Ray covers the sculpture with a garbage bag and when Marie drops in, she is shocked to see what Ray has done. Ray and Debra make several attempts to save themselves from trouble. On hearing them, Marie promises to have it removed as soon as possible, and leaves. Upon being delivered from potential trouble, Ray can tell that it looks mad.
Later that afternoon, Sister Ann and Sister Beth pay Raymond a visit to his home and asks to pick up the sculpture that his mother intended to donate to the church auction. Both the Sisters enter the home, Raymond tries to prevent them from unveiling the sculpture with the sheet on it. But once the sheet was off, the three glanced at it, then stare back at Raymond, chagrined and in disgust. To make matters worse, Marie enters and Sister Ann tries to tell her that the sculpture that she is contributing, the subject matter might be "inappropriate". As Marie asks why, Sister Ann whispers in her ear that the sculpture resembles that of a vagina, to her shock. After the Sisters leave, and as Marie observes her creation very carefully, she faces the awful truth. Upon looking at her sculpture, which resembles that of a vagina, she says to herself "Oh, my God. I'm a lesbian." Ray tries to cheer her up as she is worried that the Truth about her might spread. She presumed at first to be an abstract because she thought it was easy, but failed. Ray tries to cheer her up, but failed occasionally. Eventually, she was calm when she was told by her son that he is proud of her, and both mother and son hugged. But Raymond still demanded that his mother should really get it out of the house.
That evening, after the art exhibit was over, Marie, Debra and Robert left when Raymond wanted to "go home and wash my eyes." As they leave, Debra is curious to know where Frank is. It turns out that he is still in the art room, endlessly eyeing Marie's sculpture, resembling that of the uterus. Then, the janitor arrives and whispers in Frank's ear on what the sculpture REALLY looks like if he were to ask him. The episode ends with Frank saying his infamous catchphrase "HOLY CRAP!"
for some reason this episode, as well as the second episode in Season Six, No Roll! , have never been screened in the UK. Channel Four repeat every episode of ELR on a repeating cycle and are usually very careful about keeping everything, from pilot to finale, in the correct episode and series order. But when it comes to Series Six, they leap, without explanation, from episode four, Ray's Ring, to episode six, Frank Comes Downstairs. This is strange, as British TV is usually a lot more liberal and relaxed about sexual content than American network TV; A show that screened in prime-time in the USA without censorship is usually fine. Apart from two episodes of Season Six...