Here is a list of memorable quotes from Robert.
- Marie: "That's an award your brother got for his sports column."
- Robert: "Never ends for Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. I go to work, people shoot at me. Ray goes to work, people do the wave."
- Warren: "How's police work treating you?"
- Robert: "Well, ya know, one day you're rescuing a puppy and the next day you're fishing a skull out of a toilet."
- Robert: "I bet you can't even name the reindeer."
- Frank: "Oh, uh, Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen... Those are the main ones."
- "Most of the women I talk to are in handcuffs. And then half of them turn out to be men."
- Robert: "Ya know, I could've been a pretty good hockey player. You know, big, had the toughness, good hand-eye coordination."
- Ray: "Yeah but, eventually, you would've had to let go of the side."
- Robert: "I'll call you if there are any fights."
- Ray: "I may be calling you."
- Robert: "You gave me liquor?"
- Marie: "Not liquor, dear. Liqueur."
- Robert: "Don't you have an outstanding moving violation, Dad?"
- Frank: "I wouldn't say outstanding. It was pretty good, though."